Dear Pickwick Mitzi:

I have written you before explaining my compassion but in the letter there was some mention about older people, especially handicapped ones.

There was some negative feedback about my take on it. I did not especially like your response, to me they are nothing more than a nuisance and should stay at home.

That said, here is my problem now. My wife likes to take trips and would like to go on a cruise. I pride myself in being fair but I will have none of this. There will be quite a bit of expense involved and it will deplete the money being saved for a bass boat down payment. Jip Youan Go’s boat dealers has some nice Bass Tracker’s but they are too high. Joe’s Broken Paddle has a nice Carp Tracker that is affordable. We splurged on our 56^th anniversary by going to the Krystal in Corinth and even ordering Cheeseburgers rather than Hamburgers.

Your thoughts on this are solicited, although to me you are nothing but a screwball, as are all Psychologists and Psychiatrists. You should be called a Marriage Canceller rather than a Marriage Councilor. But being a fair minded person I await your advice although no doubt it will be a bunch of crap.

Signed: Fair minded but determined to have it my way.

Dear Signed,

I can't believe she's still with you. Must be because you took her out for those cheeseburgers at Krystal. You belong on that Carp Tracker your going to buy. At some point and time, you must have been a nice guy. She wouldn't have married you if you were like the way you are now. You are definitely in a league all by yourself. You are the Missing Link.

As for being a marriage councilor, I have helped many people but I just give advice. Maybe, you should see a Wacky Doctor, then you can find out from a professional that your from the dark ages.

How's that for a bunch of crap?

Mitzy